singing lessons for fat chicks

well if i ever get any female readers, this post should pretty much guarantee they'll never come back. oh well; it's my blog.

i've met girls who have lost weight. they started pilates, or more frequently these days training for a triathlon, and dropped a few pounds. but i've never met a really fat chick -- one who has to wear pants with elastic waistbands to deal with the normal 5% weight fluctuation in people, which for her is 22 pounds -- who managed to get skinny. except on reality tv, it doesn't happen; their metabolism is just too slow and too many stores carry hostess products.

which is why these rotund ladies should stop spending their money on south beach diet books and get themselves a voice teacher. cause a girl can have ankles so swollen she can't zip up a pair of boots, but if she can sing on a stage, she's instantly attractive.

this is really just a roundabout way of admitting that i'm completely infatuated with feist. from the pictures on her website, she's on the opposite side of the weight spectrum, but by celebrity infatuation standards, she falls far short in the looks department.

however, her unspectacular appearance hasn't stopped me from visiting her site a dozen times in the last week, checking to see if any new photos have been posted. it hasn't stopped me from googling her name and actually scroling to the second and third pages of search results to make sure i wasn't missing out on some good feist content.

in just over a month, miss feist will be making a stop in my home town, but in a cruel twist of fate, i'll be on the other coast to play the wpt borgata in atlantic city. perhaps it's best though; seeing her perform in person might take my groupie love to unhealthy levels.

as for the fat girls stuff, i like them as much as the next guy (not very much). blame society.