sixth sense

walk around atlantic city this week and there sure are a lot of people who have it. at least if you ask them.

in fact, every time i sit at a poker table there seem to be nine people who have it. it's like morgan freeman said in the shawshank redemption; he's the only guilty man at shawshank. well at the poker table, i'm the only one without esp.

i've always thought it's hilarious that people try to elevate what they do to some transcendant level in order to eleveat their self-value. you take the average card player and what you get is someone who gives his money away during 12-hour sessions where the only movements he makes are lifting the corners of two cards to see what he's been dealt. their hygeine is generally subpar, their social skills limited to ogling at cocktail waitresses, and their families generally undercared for.

yet they seem to gloss over these details. if their english were better, they'd describe their compulsion as a way of life; an unflinching battle of wits where strategy is neither finite nor constant, but rather an evolution of style which combines mathematical analysis, pattern analysis and comprehension of human nature at the highest orders. yes, it is warfare, humanized; the physical bruatality of battle removed, distilled into a matching of social intelligence.

to illustrate, here's a scent that transpired at my table. note: poker jargon has been translated into standard english.

"That's a helluva bet." (translation: you're really smart) He pauses to cotemplate the correct course of action, activating his extra-sensory power to deconstruct the meaning of his opponent staring at the table. He shakes his head in disbelief of his challenger's adroitness.

"Wow, that is a great play." (translation: this borders on genius on your part. I am truly impressed by your abilities.)

"I'm going to lay this down." (translation: I have determined that you hold the winning hand. Despite losing the hand, the fact that i'm able to unravel your brillant stratagem demonstrates that i am operating on a higher plane than mere mortals.)

yes, this is what passes for social interaction among poker players. next time, you're at the cardroom, try it for yourself. acknolwedge the complex web of thinking that your opponent used in deciding on how to play his hand, and by showing that you are able to decipher it, you will indirectly showed your superiority.

and best of all, the people will see you as a really nice guy!