fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice...

well shame on me of course. apparently some lessons are difficult to learn. and so i found myself once again dining in a tapas restaurant, hoping that small plates would finally fulfill their big promise.

this time the culprit was iluna basque, a somewhat trendy eatery on the corner of union and powell in north beach. as you walk inside, the interior designer's fondness for maroon becomes immediately apparent. the walls wear that color, as do the accoutrements selected to hang from it. but despite the bordello-esque hue of the restaurant, the corner location and long windows spanning 180 degrees of the exterior chase all possible feelings of claustraphobia.

and now to the downside; the dining experience. the first inkling comes just as you take a seat at your table. you unroll your place setting and spread the napkin across your lap, only to realize there is paper in your hand. it takes audacity to put seared foie gras on the menu and then ask patrons to dab their mouths with the product of a recycled notebook, but iluna basque does just that. if only they had demonstrated such boldness in other aspects, say the cooking.

between the three of us, we selected nine small plates, including a butter lettuce salad, seared scallops, a duck empanada, a petite ribeye and the aforemention foie gras. the only thing that stood out was the salinity. each bite elicited the expression of one who had inadverently swallowed a mouthful of atlantic ocean water. in fact, the saline flavor was so overpowering that you could taste nothing of the ingredients themselves. the only relief from this sodium infusion came from the wine, an excessively sweet and hollow grenache.

the one dish of the nine that i cannot speak for would be the cheese plate, which we ordered yet never arrived, except on the bill. upon mentioning to our server that he had overcharged us, he felt no need to apologize for the omission or to ask if we would still like to have the dish brought. without a word, he snatched up the bill walked back to the kitchen and made the correction. i'm not even certain he said a word -- not then or during our entire meal, since he felt no need to make a visit, other than the mandatory ones where he was dropping off food.

it's too bad, i mean for iluna basque. my two dining companions are recent transplants to north beach, and have plenty of money to spend. and i happened to know they were on the lookout for a regular neighborhood spot. somewhere to spend their money 3 or 4 times a month. the restaurant certainly lost them. and me along with it.