everyone loves getting a deal. it makes you feel smart, as if you've somehow outsmarted the system such that your money is doing more for you than the next guy's money is doing for him.
the outlet mall depends on this sort of thinking. fancy brand names set up shops, take in the past season's (and sometimes many seasons before that) ugliest designs, reduce their markup by some impressive percentage, and hope their brand will blind the shopper's aesthetic instinct. not to say that one cannot find worthwhile purchases, but one has to look mighty hard. and i can only guess what great proportion of shoppers feel the tinge of buyer's remorse on the drive back home.
all of this makes sense for the hugo bosses, calvin kleins, and kenneth coles of the world. but as i strolled through the 100-degree heat of the gilroy premium outlets, a store caught my eye. not because i thought i might find the one piece of attractive clothing, but because i could barely fathom how an outlet for this particular vendor came to be: jelly belly.
would a jelly belly outlet sell all the flavors that no one cared to purchase, i.e. tasted like shit? and if so, what would possess someone to patronize the store? granted there are plenty of fat people moving (or not) around gilroy but would they not opt for the flavors that actually taste good. after all, i can't imagine the candy to be prohibitively expensive. i mean, they do sell them at safeway.
light bulb. how about a gummi bear outlet. we can sell bulk packages of the yellow ones that even half the fat little 8-year olds who get picked last in kickball leave in the bag.
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