buy my friendship, it's cheap

i describe myself as selective about the people i keep company with, so i was shocked to find this to be true. once could be luck, twice could be coincidence, but three times? that's a pattern.

case 1: i strolled down to haight street to meet a friend at a local bookstore. for me, it was a pause before the bar. for her, she needed a book, not to read, but to give. she was headed to a birthday party at a bar. someone she knew, but not a resident of the inner circle.

like any normal person, i've been to many birthday parties for acquaintances where a group of friends meet at a bar. and in all those times, i've always given the honored guest the same gift: liquor. usually in a shot glass.

so i wondered silently. how would i feel if a young lady i didn't expect a gift from came bearing one? i'd think of her much more highly, that's for certain. even if i didn't like the gift.

cost -- $12.95(?) for a compilation of essays and critiques on music.

case 2: while washing my hands at a friend's house, i suddenly found myself rapt by a romantic scent that filled the air. it was soft and sweet and recalled those moments when a waft of air escaped from a bakery while you passed by.

i sniffed the air several times, pausing briefly in between each inhalation to shift my head toward where the fragrance was strongest. it was my hands. or rather the soap i had used to wash them. mango and white sugar.

as i exited the bathroom, i simply commented "i love the soap in your bathroom". the next time i ventured to the apartment, i had a gift waiting for me. and i think ever more highly of that person with each wash of my hands (at least until the bottle runs out).

cost -- $10 (?) for a bottle of archipelago sugar hand wash.

case 3: in the cooking class i'm taking at city college, a classmate said he'd be missing class the coming week and asked if i could pick up an extra copy of the handouts. the following friday he emailed me asking when would be a convenient time to swing by and pick them up. and since i would be waiting for the cable guy to show from 6-8, i told him to just come by after work.

he did. and brought a creme puff to show his thanks. now ignoring the inherent awkwardness that ensues when one straight man brings another straight man a pastry, i was taken aback by the thoughtfulness of this person i barely knew. especially since my favor was no more than common courtesy.

cost -- $1.95 for a beard papa caramel creme puff.

in conclusion (i haven't used that prepositional phrase to start a paragraph since english class, sophmore year in high school), all it takes to win me over is a gift, small or big, as long as it's unannounced and unexpected.