they better not have paid for this

this appeared in the sponsored link section while checking my email today. are there really that many homeless folks who read gmail?



perhaps they could've found a slightly more targeted audience through another means.

bull headed?

while searching out bar #3 on friday evening, i started a conversation with a female friend of mine that was interrupted in order to make a final decision on our destination. we chose somewhere non-descript and two of our group headed to the bar to order drinks for us, and i settled in an empty booth. the female friend, who had trailed me in, elected for an open bar stool adjacent to the table.

she initiated said conversation, subject irrelevant. transcript below of what ensued.

me: "i'm not going to have a conversation at this distance. why don't you sit over here?"
her: "i don't feel like sitting in a booth."
me: "uh, okay"
her: "so why don't you sit at the bar?"
me: "hmm, i don't think so."
her: "well i guess we're not going to have this conversation."
me: "i guess not."
her: "fine."
me: "fine."
(backs turn)

at the time, i concluded she was being a bitch. and as a gift to everyone else she'd be around the rest of the evening, i accepted the role of martyr by putting an end to her ridiculousness.

upon reflection, however, perhaps something else was involved -- like i can't stand not getting my way.

countless times i've spoken the words "i just like things the way i like them" only to have someone counter with a "you-don't-say" chuckle and a show of feigned disbelief. the quality's charming to acquaintances (i think) but occasionally infuriating to everyone closer than that.

so i wonder, should we share the blame for this infantile altercation?

i still don't think so but might entertain arguments contrary.

backwards to thursday night

1100 a.m. - upon checking my yahoo mail this morning, i received porno spam that used the word libidinous in the subject line. so whoever composed the message definitely studied sat vocab lists. interesting.

230 a.m. to 330 a.m. (?) - friend of mine took a lady home from the club and without letting his austin visitor staying with him and friend of ten years at the club by herself. unclassy behavior from a usually very stand-up guy. after she finally got him on the line, i ended up walking her back to his place and he swore that he told her before leaving. i'm certain he didn't, but he was shitfaced and i'm equally certain he thought he did.

1100 p.m. to 330 a.m. - one member of our fivesome acted like a complete tool the whole evening. i had met him briefly a while back, and though he never struck me as a superstar, i wouldn't have described him as a total bottom-feeder either. perhaps he was just shitcanned and having a day. sure hope so. as i walked the girl from austin home, he continually repeated that my friend had "gone to the bone yard". earlier, he mentioned getting shit streaks on your shirt while getting a lap dance at the market street cinema.

245 a.m. - programmed my number into a young lady's phone. then forgot to call myself. oops.

145 a.m. - finished the drinking portion of the night with a shot of well tequila -- after 10 drinks, it still tastes like shit and burns like a miami sunburn on a red-headed irish lass.

1130 p.m. - as a small measure of redemption, said tool did have this line: a marine without a gun is like a fat girl without titties. of course, he delivered that line during some pre-fight shit-talking at someone's engagement party. like i said, complete tool.

1030 p.m. - wrote some legalese for a company that i consult for and care nothing for at this point. so i guess i shouldn't care that i'm completely unqualified for the task.

wake-up call

i've always thought my happiness with having a lack of career direction to be endearing.

until this email.


shit.

beautiful things

curiously, the last movie i watched from my netflix queue before canceling my membership was a quiet and dignified movie called venus. the film, which portrays the oft-excruciating pursuit of a very young lady by an old man, also includes one of the best lines to ever show up on screen:

for many men, a woman's body is the most beautiful thing a man will ever see.

i've wondered about this little perception a lot recently as i've spent a lot of time shopping over the past couple weeks. normally, when i go into retail-therapy mode, i look at what i need -- new jeans, a pair of brown shoes. and so i bought those. but more recently, i've just wanted things i thought beautiful. so that includes a crystal glass pitcher, a set of votives, and, shortly in the future, candlesticks and various stemware (perhaps some nambe flatware too).

among people i know, i have a reputation for being, well, sort of femme. and i wonder silently if it's not this attachment to other beautiful things that makes people wonder about my orientation; why it is that this sharing of the space normally occupied by beautiful women with other objects is so foreign to men. to that question, i have no answer.

it's difficult to derive the actual value i net from these things. but they bring a smile to my face, albeit an expensive one, and all smiles have some worth.

61% left

it appears that i have approximately 48 years left on this planet before i suffer a lethal heart attack. that according to okcupid's interesting -- though of unknown reliability -- death test.

according to the intro, it's based on harvard researchers' work that parsed one's life span into a slew of activities and characteristics. so perhaps it does have some merit.

after much deliberation

today is september 10. that means roughly 100 days have transpired since the last time scissors were taken to my locks. it also means my hair is long -- despite some curling, it stretches to the nape of my neck in back and to the jawline on the side -- as long as it's been since my 25th year.

unlike the last time, however, my intention is not to grow my hair. instead, i've spent this time deliberating what to do. and it's become unruly, to the point, where i feel compelled to wear a hat to hide most of it, and conceal that it has grown out of the comely shape it originally possessed.

but long hair provides options. and as i'm nearing the end of my youth (some might argue, it's already gone) i took this to be my last chance to do something wild. likely that would entail color, and an unnatural one at that. i've considered the gamut -- red, green, blue -- and have finally decided that i like black best.

a lot of people have black hair, but not many like mine. where no color rests further along the dark pole of the color spectrum. with life, such that it can reflect like the surface of polished obsidian.

so i figure, i'll likely not have this natural color for much longer either. which means i'll just enjoy my fleeting time with what i was born with for the short time that still remains.

almost-awesome link of the day

http://www.hotmomsclub.com/

and i found at work. doing something work related.

sadly's its content is far more classy than i figured it to be.