the near genius of death cab

has nothing to do with their music, which unabashedly sucks*.

*unless you're a 14-year-old girl. i once attended a death cab concert. this was early in my switch from listening to nerdy hip hop to indie. a friend (a girl, not 14 years old though. she's gotten shit for it post-facto) asked me. i accepted. mostly because i wanted to see the opener, stars, who ended up sucking also. however, the show had one saving grace: the bar, specifically, the lack of line. i ordered several drinks to dull the pain and not once did i wait one second in line. which makes sense since there were two bars and i was one of two people of age. seriously, police should stakeout death cab shows for pedophiles.

i'm currently on the search for a couple of ironic gifts, and death cab t-shirts would be perfect. since i have two friends who now assert their love for death cab has died, it would be a great way to remind them of their former taste suckitude. in my attempt to navigate to the t-shirt section, i clicked on the gear link. but instead of taking me to their merch, it took me to a page listing all the equipment the band uses.

now that's smart.

certainly, throngs of 13-year-olds are out there getting no chicks. and upon visiting this page, he thinks to himself, i could play like death cab and get chicks too. they're ugly and kind of doughy just like me and they get laid. a lot. and with freshman girls too (kidding. maybe.). preying on this sort of thinking, i guarantee they could sell a lot of overpriced guitars and amps.

as could be expected though, they fall short of doing it right. it's just a list. no links to some seller where they get to make money off of people coming through their site.

i know indie rockers aren't renowned for their website skills, but seriously why wouldn't every band do this? especially knowing a little about how little they make before signing with a major label.