the new red lobster

these days, my work focuses more and more on solving this difficult challenge: how to attract customers despite an inferior product. and every time i sit down and think about it, i'm reminded of one of my favorite moments from the greatest television show ever made, the wire, where baltimore drug cartel leader stringer bell asks his business professor how to gain market share with an inferior product. (answer: change the name. won't work for my biz, unfortunately)

so stuck for answers, i find myself increasingly drawn toward articles about branding and market positioning, hoping i serendipitously discover a pearl of wisdom that will help me lead my company out of the jungle.

today i ran across a piece in the nyt about red lobster's effort to revamp their image, just the type of article i thought could be helpful. plus, as a child, red lobster represented fine dining for my family and really lent credence to that belief that seafood -- especially shellfish -- was an expensive, culinary treat. (multiple trips to cheap las vegas buffets have cured me of that belief)

apparently, the restaurant chain realized that their image has deteriorated to the point where descriptors such as "frumpy" or "downscale" are now the most common associations. no argument here. i'd skip my mom's 70th birthday party if she told me it was time to rediscover the "seafood lover in you" (note: no longer their slogan). in fact -- and this is and is going to sound ridiculously racist -- the only people i find who still possess that esteemed view of the restaurant that i once did are ghetto black people for whom shrimpfest still represents the "can't miss event" of the year.

but red lobster's new image has nothing to do with all-you-can-eat popcorn shrimp and now is trying to capture what they feel is their rightful part of the slow-food part of the seafood restaurant market. still i don't think they quite grasp what it's all about. case and point:

Asked to define what Red Lobster means by fresh, Ms. Setta responded, “It’s as fresh as anything you’d find in a top-tier seafood restaurant.” The chain delivers fish to its restaurants six days a week.

uh, isn't there seven days in a week? i'd sure like to know which day they don't deliver and miss the day-old flounder.